Are you faking your worship?

We have all experienced it before. We have all had Sundays when we come into a worship service and just don’t feel like worshipping. If we are honest, we would rather be somewhere else, perhaps sleeping at home or just chilling. Yet we are made to stand and sing song after song, sometime repeating stanza after stanza, pushing us to the limits of our physical tolerance. So we fake it. We raise our hands like everyone. We put on the intense pained expression that creates the illusion that we are deep in worship. We seem so spiritual. During the slow songs, we close our eyes and bow our heads…waking up only when we are asked to stand again. Why does worship seem so life-transforming for some and such a chore for others? Why do some have such intense experiences and others only dryness? This is an important question that can perhaps be answered if we understand our true motivations to worship. Some people say we must worship God whether we feel like it or not because we are commanded to do so. While I see some merit in the discipline of worship, such emotionless stoic worship simply cannot be sustained. We need to come back to the heart of worship. Here are two thoughts in respect of worship:

The Start of Worship – The Heart of God
Foster once said that worship is our hearts response to the overtures of love that flow from the heart of God. This is and must be the starting premise of our worship. Worship is the act of “loving God back”. And we can only truly love him back if our hearts have come to experience his love. Many a times, we come into worship feeling so far from God either because of sin or pure neglect in our intimacy with him. The problem with sin is that it casts over us a spirit of condemnation such that when we try to enter into worship, we simply do not feel that God accepts us. This sense of rejection makes it very hard for us to believe that he loves us, much less feel his love, and still less, want to worship him. The approach must then be to deal with sin before we attempt to come into worship. We search our hearts and humble ourselves before him. For it is only with repentance and submission that we experience the liberation of forgiveness. In these times of absolute surrender, his love and embracing presence once again becomes most palpable. Wave after wave of love from the Father’s heart is poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, the comforter testifying to our inner man of his everlasting approval and unending salvation. In such a state, the heart cannot but worship him who first loved us. We fall to our knees in tears as the magnitude of his unending love overwhelms us. In that instance, we become a mirror of love, receiving his love and mirroring that love back to him. For that moment, we touch the heart of heaven.

The End of Worship – Our heart’s true home
The incredible thing about worship is that in worship, our heart finds its true home. Let me try to explain. Many of us struggle with the many and various aspects and facets of our lives. We play many roles, pursue many different things in each of these roles. Some of us are students, small group leaders, sons or daughters at the same time. Others are secular professionals, church leaders, fathers and mentors at the same time. Oftentimes we feel torn apart by these many roles that we play, trying to pursue different and sometimes contradictory objectives, trying to meet different and sometimes competing expectations. In short, we are “all over the place”, unsure of who we really are or what is really important. We are confused and disjointed. The incredible thing is that in worship, every disparate aspect of our lives comes together and coalesces into the singularity of purpose – the created in submission before his creator. All the different strands of our lives align like a compass towards the throne of God. For then, we realise that this was why we were created. We are not God. He is. Our entire being falls prostrate before His throne in recognition of His supremacy. In such worship, our heart finds it true rest and our soul its true home. There is no more inner conflict, no more confusion, no more strife. There is only God and we simply live for him. To enter the reality of worship is to enter into the heart of God and find our heart’s true home.

What's your plant?

"God I am so angry I want to die!" Jonah told God (Jonah 4:3) God had done it again. Exactly what Jonah thought God would do. Jonah had preached to Nineveh and the city and repented and God had forgiven them! And Jonah was pissed. The Ninevites were bitter enemies of Israel, and Jonah was the last person who wanted to be used by God for their salvation. As if that was not enough to piss Jonah off, Jonah's precious plant that gave him shade in the desert was eaten by a worm and died (Jonah 4:7). And now Jonah was getting scotched in the hot desert sun. Now he was so pissed he really wanted to die (Jonah 4:8).

Have you ever been so angry or upset at something that you wanted to die? Something happened or someone did something inconsiderate or selfish that really pissed you off. Everytime you think about the incident, your blood boils and your stomach churns. Your mind wonders to ways you can take revenge and contemplates the delight you will enjoy inflicting that revenge on the person. Sometimes our anger is even directed at God. He is suppose to be trustworthy and loving but you really feel let down this time.

"Is it right for you to be angry?" God asked Jonah (Jonah 4:4 and 4:9) What God was saying was really "Is your anger legitimate?" Should you really be getting angry about this? Let's get some perspective here Jonah...You have preached to 120,000 people and the entire city repented. This is one of the greatest revivals in biblical history. 120,000 souls saved. Any mordern day evangelist would be proud of that, and fall down on his knees in thanksgiving. Yet you are pissed off about it! Let's get some perspective here. Now you are also getting pissed over the stupid plant which died. You care more for the plant than the souls of man! You need to wake up your ideas and get your priorities right, Jonah! And the book of Jonah ended right there.

The painful lesson we need to consider is sometimes, like Jonah, we get angry over all the wrong things. The things we get angry about reveal alot about our priorities. And often times, the small, petty insignificant things we get angry about just reveal how selfish we are about things. If you are like me, I don't really get angry about the injustice suffered by millions in the world. I don't really get angry about the millions of aborted babies, or abused children, or victims of crime. I don't really get angry about the fact that selfish industrialist are killing our planet or world powers are using their military and economic might to justify attacking smaller nations. I may disapprove of these things but they hardly extract much emotion from me. What I do get angry about is someone cutting me in on the road, driving at 80 kmh on the extreme right lane of the expressway, bad service in a restaurant, a guy at the front of the queue taking his own sweet time.

I've been thinking alot about this lately. Alot of the things we get angry about are simply not worth getting angry about. They only reveal our wrong priorities and perspective about life and things. Maybe it is time we get in with God's priorities and perspective. To God, nothing else is as important as people. Their rights, their freedom, their dignity, their welfare and the salvation of their souls. Every person is created by God, nurtured from young by Him and percious to Him. This means that in every situation when we are angry over our own violated rights, we all have a choice, you and I. We can either get pissed off and take it out on the world to vindicate our own selfishness. Or we can take the opportunity to affirm the dignity of a fellow human being, to show respect and love to a fellow human being, to respond in a way that will make our society a more gracious place, and to make someone else's day. How we respond will reveal where our priorities lie, what is important to us. Like Jonah, we all have our plants...something small and petty and selfish that we are so pissed off about we want to die. And then the Lord knocks on our door, "Is it right for you to be angry..."

Why can't I have sex with my girlfriend?

Pre-marital sex. 'Get with the times. Everyone does it. Only those prudish Christians don't.' This is one area Christians get some of the most flak from non-Christians. Worst still, many unmarried Christian couples struggle with this issue, uncertain if pre-marital sex is really wrong or why it is wrong. Ask your average Christian if pre-marital sex is wrong and he or she will probably say ‘yes’. Then ask why it is wrong and you will probably get the lame "err...cos the bible says so I suppose..." To be fair, the bible has never explicitly said so but we can infer from parts of scripture that it is probably wrong. But that just isn't enough for most of us post-modern-question-authority-I-want-to-know-why-generation-x type of people. Here's my take on this controversial and thorny topic...

Where the bible is either not explicit or grey about a certain area, we return to the ultimate law to determine if something is morally right or wrong. This is the law of love. Romans 13:8-10 tells us that all the commandments of God can be summed up in the mandate to love one another. So what is love? To love someone is to affirm the highest intrinsic worth and value of another person. To act in love is to act in a way where the highest worth and value of another person is affirmed. Superimpose this into the question of pre-marital sex and the question becomes, "does pre-marital sex affirm the highest intrinsic worth and value of your partner?"

To answer this question, we must realise that in any relationship, there is a balance between intimacy and commitment. Think of a pyramid with intimacy on one side and commitment on the other. Where there is more intimacy than there is commitment, the relationship becomes imbalanced and doomed to fail. We see this all to often in relationships where one party acts selfishly and does not want to commit. The absence of commitment in any relationship robs the relationship of the security and reliability necessary for the relationship to flourish.

Move up the intimacy side of the pyramid and we find that sex is the pinnacle of intimacy. In sexual intercourse, we take from our partner what is the most intimate and most private of privileges. It is also an act of the highest consequence as from it springs forth children. Because the sexual act is of the highest intimacy and consequence, only the highest of commitment can legitimize it. For to take the highest intimacy from another without the corresponding willingness to give the highest commitment is tantamount to rape - because we take more than we are willing to give. And the highest pinnacle of commitment is marriage. In marriage, we pledge our highest commitment ‘to have and to hold, for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health, for as long as we both shall live.” In marriage, we make this pledge before God, thus conferring on it sacredness; we make this pledge before the church, thus conferring on it accountability; and we make this pledge before the law, thus conferring on it the force of legal protection. It is my humble submission therefore that if there is sex in the absence of marriage, such an act does not affirm the highest intrinsic worth and value of our partner because we are essentially taking more than we are willing to give. Such an act is inherently selfish and therefore runs foul of the law of love. Perhaps now we know why it has been wisely said, “if you truly love someone, you will not have sex with her before you are married.”

The Christian's quest for wealth

A couple of days ago, I attended a financial investment seminar for the first time. It was touted as a seminar that would teach you how to get really rich really fast. According to the speaker, an author of best-selling books on topic, you could go from $10000 to a $1 million in 5 years. You would be amazed how many, I would guess about 4000, people turned up eagerly to lap up what he had to say. I must admit I did feel like a fish out of water initially. Everyone of the thousands had "ambition" written all over their foreheads. You could sense the competitiveness in the air, from the way they competed for parking space before the event to the way they rushed to get the best seats, to the way they strutted around the auditorium networking during the breaks. From the type of cars most of these people drove, I gathered most were the ambitious middle class trying to break into the fortified world of the rich and famous where, according to the speaker, the 'fast-track' to cash existed. "Why buy a Volvo when you can buy a Porsche?" said the speaker. "I don’t look good in cheap cars!". Everyone in the audience laughed supportingly. The speaker, in his expensive tailored suit, looked every bit the multi-millionaire he was trying to convince us we could all become. But here's the catch, you had to buy his expensive products that would tell you how to get rich. I went home feeling somewhat cheated. I had paid money to get advertised to. What a genius. Maybe that's why he drives a Porsche and I drive a Honda.

You may be asking why I went to the seminar in the first place. Isn't wealth and Christianity somehow incompatible? After all, Jesus taught that we should build up treasures in heaven and not on earth. Looking at how fast my little baby girl was growing up, the need to provide for her future has become increasingly real recently. The need to provide for retirement has also become increasingly real. After all, isn't the government constantly saying that many Singaporeans aren't planning for their retirement and won't have enough to survive after they stop working. Despite the fact that I'm only 30 and already earn enough to qualify for a platinum card, the future does seem worrying. Everything is money, money, money. Car, maid, housing, kid's education, medical costs. Everything costs money. Then we superimpose the Christian ideology of not chasing money and struggle to fit the two together.

I have searched my heart and realised that at the core lies the fundamental issue of trust. Do we trust that God provides, both financially and materially? If we somehow feel that we can't trust Him to provide or that we want much more than we think He will ever provide, then we take it upon ourselves to strive, to build our kingdoms of wealth in this world. After all, the end of wealth is security. But even if I accept that I do trust God to provide, and am secure in my faith in Him, everything isnt so simple. I am still expected to be wise and prudent about money, the way I spend it, the way I save it and the way I invest it. Many forget that the wise servants in the parable of the talents (in Matt 25:14-30) actually went out and traded the money they were entrusted and got 100% returns on their investment. And they were commended for that. The context of this parable is being prepared for the Second Coming of Christ. We are told to be watchful for we do not know the hour of His coming (Mat 24:42). We are told to be a faithful servant during this time (Mat 24:45-51), and to be wise and prepare ourselves (Mat 25:1-13). The crux of the message, in our preparation for the return of our Lord, we are to be good stewards of the money and abilities and time He has given us. Having considered all the issues, I think this is where the balance of attitudes lie.

We recognise that all the things of this world are transient (temporary) and that shortly Christ will return in final glory. Only that which He considers important is truly important.
Secondly, we trust that God provides for His children more than we can ever ask for imagine. And our exercise of faith in this respect causes His grace and provision to flow into our lives. This frees us from alot of strive and anxiety and foolish decisions we make in our pursuit of money.
Thirdly, we recognise that although wealth is transient and that God provides, He still expects us to be good stewards of the money He has given us. Like every part of the equation of the Christian life, we co-operate with God, responding in faith and obedience to His grace. It is here that investment and sound financial planning finds its place in the Christian life. Money is not a god we worship, but it is something entrusted to us as stewards and we will have to account to God as to how we manage it and use it to provide for the people and the ministries God has entrusted under our care.

Will I attend another financial seminar or investment talk? I probably will, but with a clearer perspective the next time...

Love without conditions

From young we are told that the love of God is "unconditional". We are taught that God loves us despite what we do and regardless of how sinful we are. Unconditional means "without conditions", ie. God does not place any conditions or criteria on us before He loves us. But examine this concept with me for a while. Do we really accept that God loves us unconditionally? After all, shouldn't we expect God to get angry at us when we sin and to punish and vindicate his wrath upon us? If I sin repeatedly and wilfully defy God time and time again, isnt there a limit to His tolerance? Can I really expect Him to bless me given my shameful deeds? These are thoughts we all commonly think about God. And it is not surprising that we go through such a thought process when we think about God because this is what we have experience from those in authority in our lives, whether our parents, our teachers, our bosses or even our church leaders.

Human love is, for the most part, conditional. It is conditional in that we subconsciously impose certain conditions on another before we will love and accept that person. Even in the most giving of relationships, ie. parent to a child, spouse to spouse and between best friends, even with the best intentions, we still struggle to love someone unconditionally. Even the people who love us the most get angry at us sometimes. In a society like Singapore, the problem is compounded because of the strong emphasis on meritocracy and performance. Only the worthy are rewarded. Only the meritorious promoted. If you dont make the grade at each stage of the education system, you are classified, labelled and rejected. To be accepted, we have to perform. As such, when we think about God, we superimpose this view of love on Him. This makes it very difficult to believe that He loves us unconditionally because such an idea goes against our experiences in every one of our human relationships.

The truth that must be asserted here is that a conditional view of God's love runs contrary to the very heart of God. Here we must make a distinction between anger, discipline and love. In our human experiences, when someone is angry at us or disciplining us, there is very little or no love involved. Discipline motivated by anger is vindictive and often abusive. As such, we have come to treat anger and discipline as mutually exclusive with love. Love cannot co-exist with anger and discipline. We have all had authority figures who say they are discipling us because they love us but often such discipline is often motivate by the expression of vengeful anger rather than genuine unconditional love. This scars our belief that any discipline can ever be loving. Yet only in the heart of God is love pure enough to co-exist with anger and discipline. God may be angry at our sin and may even be moved to discipline us at times, but the hard to believe truth is that every action, every move of discipline is movitated by pure and genuine love. There is a total absence of vindictiveness or vengefulness in the anger or discipline of God. Every action is motivated solely to achieving what is the best, and most beneficial and the highest good for us. For the thoughts of God towards us are selfless and compassionate. His love is at once inexhaustable, extravagant and indulgent. For what God would give His life for a world who persist in hating and rejecting Him? We can sin, but we can never sin ourselves out of His love and acceptance. It does not mean He will not discipline us, but His extravagant embrace will never loosen and the passion of His heart will never wane. Listen to the pain in His heart of love...

When Israel was a child, I loved him,
and out of Egypt I called my son.
But the more I called Israel,
the further they went from me.
They sacrificed to the Baals
and they burned incense to images.
It was I who taught Ephraim to walk,
taking them by the arms;
but they did not realize
it was I who healed them.
I led them with cords of human kindness,
with ties of love;
I lifted the yoke from their neck
and bent down to feed them.

"Will they not return to Egypt
and will not Assyria rule over them
because they refuse to repent?
Swords will flash in their cities,
will destroy the bars of their gates
and put an end to their plans.
My people are determined to turn from me.
Even if they call to the Most High,
he will by no means exalt them.

"How can I give you up, Ephraim?
How can I hand you over, Israel?
How can I treat you like Admah?
How can I make you like Zeboiim?
My heart is changed within me;
all my compassion is aroused.
I will not carry out my fierce anger,
nor will I turn and devastate Ephraim.
For I am God, and not man-
the Holy One among you.
I will not come in wrath.

Hosea 11:1-9