Listening to the news on the way to work today, I was was inundated by reports of violence in the world. What particularly struck me was a report of a woman in Kenya who knocked her husband's teeth out and then bit his *** off (ouch!) cos she suspected him of having an affair. (that image will haunt me for the rest of the day). This made me think about why we get angry so easily. Sometimes a seemingly small thing like someone cutting into our lane on the road triggers such uncontrollable rage that we fantasize of driving our fist through the person's idoitic face. We see such cases in court all the time. Looking around, I have come to notice that there are alot of bitter people in the world. People who feel as if the world has been unjust to them and will take the first opportunity to be mean to others. The worst is if they are our superiors or BMT instructors. (I suspect many a taxi driver also fall into this category given the way they drive... ) Closer to home, we often find ourselves getting angry at the people closest to us. A simple word can set us fuming. For some, the cycle of anger and hurt does not ever seem to end.
I am beginning to see that there is a direct link between the intensity and ease of our anger, and the level of our perceived injustice. The most injustice we feel, the more easily and more intensely we are likely to get angry. This feeling of injustice builds like stream in a pressure cooker and overtime, triggers rage at the slightest of provocations. Teenagers who feel that they have constantly misunderstood by their parents are prone to react in anger and rebellion. Spouses who feel unfairly treated by their partners easily become offensive and defensive when faced with any sort of accusation. Some of us are just generally angry at God, at the world, at life as a whole because we perceive life has dealt us a raw deal. These people walk around pissed off all the time.
I think the first step to managing anger is to identify the perceived injustice. What is that wrong we have suffered? Who do we perceive has caused it? Where the injustice is related to some person or persons, then step two is that we must then humanise them. You see, often we grow in bitterness and anger against someone who has wronged us because we progressively demonise the person. The more we think of the person, the more our minds build a worst and more evil picture of the person until we place him or her on par with the devil. We need to humanise them again, to see that they are just humans trying to survive. They are not perfect, but neither are we. Step three - we need to then release them in forgiveness. Unforgiveness is an extremely destructive bondage. In a perverse way, we enjoy relishing in it. But overtime, the bitterness just grows and grows, and correspondingly anger titters on the brink of overflow. Sometimes our anger is directed at God. After all He is responsible for everything isnt He? This is even more serious cos we then need to rethink our perception of God, His love and His justice. This is a really tough one. We need to realise that we have become victims of the devil's lies that have encrusted like a cancerous stronghold in our spirits. In such cases, repentance is the only path to deliverance.